According to a recent article in Viet Nam News, some 42,000 cases of HIV+ have been diagnosed in this country. An estimated 3,300 Vietnamese have did of AIDS so far. These figures are likely to rise dramatically in the future, as there are high rates of heroin addiction and prostitution in this country.

Kat’s cousin died of AIDS last week. He was only 29 years old.

We paid our respects on the third and final day of the wake. As in most cultures, there seems to be an abundance of food at these sad occasions. In Vietnam, it is customary to bring fruit to the family of the deceased. When we arrived at the house, the incense smoke was heavy enough to sting the eyes. The raised, heavily ornamented casket was in the middle of the living room, surrounded by plates of fruit and flowers. Female relatives were compiling the fake paper money (thrown during the funeral procession) into bags.

We went back again the following evening after the funeral march and cremation. The atmosphere was very different. Relatives and neighbours chatted quietly, but it was no longer a time for grieving. An old grandmother even made a few cracks at my expense.

The ashes will remain at a local pagoda for 49 days. Buddhist monks will offer prayers and food to his spirit for the next 7 weeks. During that time, his name is not to be mentioned at his former home as this would entice his spirit to remain in this world. Once the 49 days have passed, his ashes will be placed in the family altar where the memory of ancestors is honored.

Unfortunately, his young wife also has AIDS.